friends, or something like this

Do you ever think about people near you? People that you and I assumed as our friends. I think about it a lot. I know, maybe some people see this as ‘why are you thinking about it? It is not important at all.’ or ‘You just too overthinking of yourself.’ or any other words. But, this is me. The one that sometimes like to overthink of something and in this time, what I often think is about people. Especially for people around me that united by the same activity or same self-interest.

two man and two woman standing on green grass field
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Words said that everyone can’t please everyone and everyone can’t fit to everyone. I was at first not believe it as a whole because I believe I can be everyone friends. It was my old think and my ego back then. In the past, when I was at school, my friends often told me that I am a sensitive person and in that time, I didn’t agree about that. But now, I can say that it was true. I am a boy and have a sensitive feeling and mind.

In the case of everyone can’t fit to everyone, I suffered this until now. My sensitive feeling said that why people around me, that close to me (which literaly close/near like in a class that has routine schedule) in same activity can’t be my friend? If I answer it by myself, maybe I can say that I am too shy to start a conversation. My own assumption said that I and the person that I mentioned before is having different social class or different mind. Sometimes I stucked on thinking about social class different.

fuck yeah
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Objectively, as many quote said about this phenomenon, appeared a sentence ‘everyone can’t fit to everyone’ and it is also true. But there is no solid answer for that sentence, so the answer I got is from my own opinion (and maybe each person’s answer could be different based on their experiences).

Because of that, I aware that, that words are true enough. In this world of 7 billions human, there is no way that a person can connect and be a friend for every single person. Even in the place where you live or where you do your daily activity. But, unfortunately, I sometimes still trapped there. I don’t want to be friend of 7 billions human, but at least I can be friend of my surrounding. It is funny to think that it can’t happen forever and I’m still wanting it.

I want to erase this feeling by deleting everyone that can never noticing me as I am noticing them, but still, I can’t and it is a wrong action. Maybe, if we are really separate in the future, I can do this. Seriously, more I think about it, more hurt and thought that influence my daily.

woman wearing black sleeveless top
Photo by David Cassolato on Pexels.com

I believe that the person I want to be friend but can’t be friend think about the quote, so they really picky on choosing what is the best for themselves and I can not judge them wrong about their choices. I just blame myself, why do I always stuck in the condition where there is no solution inside it rather than leave that place and move on. Maybe the answer is time. Time will erase it for me, help me to released me from that feeling.

Forget a moment about it and let appreciate my life. At least, there are people that still want to be friend of me and I’m very grateful. I try to always in touch but not too annoyed them. I try to not let my memory of them lose. From it, I also try to be more understanding about the words ‘everyone can’t fit to everyone’. I am so pleased to welcome everyone that want to know me, but I also try to let the one that don’t want to be with me to take their choice. I have to free my mind of this feeling, this thought. Slowly but sure.

This is only my own opinion. A lot of you may have different perspectives but this is my perspective, my feeling, my experience. This is also my self reflection for future me to be better than present time. So, thanks to you that already vacant your time to read my writing. This is maybe as a representative of my feeling right now, this time. Feel free to comment to let me know about your experience, about your story, or about your criticism and suggestion to make me growing my mind widely.

Last words for this post from me ‘everyone can be closer or friend basically because there is the same importance of them to become closer or friend, and the rest is who knows?’

p.s : sorry about my grammar and the mistakes I’ve made in this writing. I hope the point that I write is understanable for you.

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